Needless to say, SPOILERS ALL.
Well, here we go. Season 5, Episode 5, “Kill the Boy”. A.K.A., “The one where the illegal downloaders were finally on the same page as everyone else again after the leak of ‘15”.
Just a note on the opening intro, before this gets going. Anyone else still getting used to having Dorne in the opening credits? It continues to throw me off a little. I like it.
Anyway, “Kill the Boy” starts off in Meereen, where we see a glimpse of Grey Worm, lying in bed, being tended to by his somewhat confusing love interest, Missandei. It seems as though he survived his run-in with the city’s resident masked villains. Flash to Dany standing next to another recumbent figure, though, and we see that dear old Barristan the Bold was not so lucky. No big surprise after the stabbing he got last week, but still disappointing. One of the fiery queen’s only thoughtful, experienced, and – above all – loyal advisors is now gone forever, and we’re left wondering what actions she will take in the aftermath of this incident.
We don’t have to wait long, though. After rounding up the leaders of Meereen’s major families, she decides it’s time for a friendly little barbeque. Down in the dragon pit, we see that her previously expressed opinions on fair trials and summary execution have been reversed, as Rhaegal and Viserion make a bloody snack out of one of the Meereenese prisoners. “She disciplines if she must”, indeed.
Meanwhile, in a much colder locale, Sam reads Maester Aemon the latest raven-post news on Dany’s adventures. Targaryen that he is, he laments his far-off relative’s lonely plight – “A Targaryen, alone in the world… is a terrible thing”. (Pan up to see Lord Commander Jon walk into the room).
Jon, it would seem, is in need of a bit of advice. He doesn’t want to make choices which will bitterly divide the Night’s Watch. Which is where the episode’s title comes in. “Kill the boy, and let the man be born”, Aemon tells him. So he goes to Tormund for a chat and apparently, they’re going to head for Hardhome to save some wildlings.
Turns out the decision is as controversial as Jon thought it would be.
A few short leagues to the South, Brienne and Pod conspire to save Sansa from her Winterfell-stealing captors, whether she likes it or not. Brienne swore Catelyn an oath, and by the Seven, she intends to keep it.
Ramsay, absorbed by the jealous attentions of his naked waif-thin lover, has no idea. He has the Bolton name and he has a destiny, he tells Myranda. Fathering a dynasty with Sansa will be his life’s achievement. Sansa’s loyal northern smallfolk may have other plans for her, though. “The North Remembers”.
Sansa herself hasn’t forgotten yet either, and if she had, a little run-in with Theon/Reek in the kennels sure jogs her memory. Luckily Ramsay decides to make it up to his betrothed by having her brothers’ apparent murderer serve drinks at their awkward family dinner with Roose and Fat Walda. Reek says sorry. Tension dispelled. (Right?) Now son, says Roose, let’s go take care of that pesky Stannis.
Back at the Wall, Sam introduces Gilly (and the Unsullied show-watchers) to a few tidbits on Westerosi geography, only to be interrupted by Stannis himself, who has decided to march at sunrise. Davos is hesitant, but King Stannis gets what King Stannis wants, and what he wants is to go to Winterfell and bring his wife and daughter with them. So off they go, Melisandre in tow.
Speaking of strange love arrangements, looks like Grey Worm’s gotten through the worst of his injuries. Since Missandei can now take a break from her post at his bedside, she’s off to give Daenerys some unwilling counsel about how she’s a strong queen who’s able to think of solutions her advisors never could. That includes admitting her wrongs, opening the fighting pits, freeing Hizdahr, and ordering him to marry her. Smooth.
Hey, maybe Jorah and Tyrion will make it to Meereen in time for the ceremony. Then again, maybe not; sailing through the smoking ruins of Valyria is a perilous task. Too bad they can’t hitch a ride on Drogon, who we see soaring regally above.
Unfortunately, Drogon is nothing more than a distraction from the dangers down below, which become apparent all too quickly. Grayscale-infected “Stone Men” leap aboard, forcing Tyrion overboard into the water’s murky depths. Luckily for Tyrion, Jorah’s a strong swimmer. Unlucky for Jorah, grayscale appears to be a quick-spreading disease.
Dun, dun, dunnnnn.