Thursday , November 21 2019
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Should We Wait For Marriage Before Having Sex?

Marcia Segelstein’s article about sex is quite an interesting one.

Now, I encourage you to read it. And then think about it. Really think about it.

Honestly, while reading, I almost stopped and went, “yeah yeah, we know, but kids are going to do, what kids are going to do.” But then she made a really good point. And this is one that sticks with me, preventative measures of sex only reduce the possibility of some of the issues that stem from sex. I am not certain if encouraging people to wait until marriage is a realistic option anymore, but maybe it is.

I mean when you think about it, as Segelstein points out, there are not only the risks of disease and pregnancy that can afflict men and women, but there are also the emotional risks. I am certain that all of us sexually active women in our twenties have had at least one sexual encounter that has left us moderately miserable after. Oxytocin is a jerk.

My only concern about Segelstein’s article is the emphasis on sex being something only women can control. It seems as if she is saying that because a number of the “dangers” of sex affect women in a more direct way, it is our responsibility to be the ones to abstain from it. As if men can’t control themselves. Not to mention she leaves out the entire LGBT community. The egalitarian that I am, is not a huge fan of this, but I understand it. It does make more sense for women to refrain from sex with men because we are the ones who can get pregnant, and we are the ones who risk STDs that can leave us infertile.

But here’s a thought!
Instead of telling women not to have sex and not to get pregnant and to get married before doing any of that, why not focus on teaching women to focus on things not sex and relationship related? Why not teach women to focus on school, sports, their community, honestly just anything but.

I would think with the recent letter from Ariana Grande that women were more aware of the idea of not needing men in their lives and not to revolve their fears, goals and strengths around men. But apparently this is not always the case.

And, just putting this out there, there’s no right way to live your life. If you want to have kids and not get married, do it. Be safe and smart and love yourself, but do not let society dictate what is right and wrong in your life.

About Emily Hersey

Emily Hersey
Emily is an African Studies and History student who loves reading, the gym, hip hop and horses. If she's not working on her latest research project, she's definitely working towards her next trip to South Africa and doing her Master's degree there. Contact Emily: