In a deeply intense and personal video shared on Facebook, Melbourne rapper 360 has revealed the excruciating story of his battle with painkiller addiction.
His brutally honest rap, entitled I’m Sorry and set to The xx’s Intro, recounts his growing reliance on over-the-counter drugs and eventual overdose on tour. It gained million of views in just hours after he posted it yesterday, and led others who have struggled with addiction to share their own experiences.
“I should be dead / Maybe I’ve got nine lives / Seven left / Cos I’ve already died twice,” the rap begins. “I’m about to get deep but I really hope you feel it though / See talking about it hurts, it’s when I was an addict but I was at my worst. No one knew I didn’t tell one person / Couldn’t bring myself to do it cos I felt like a burden.
“Gimme any drug, I was chewing em up / If I have nine lives then I’m using them up / No one knew my addiction it was stupid as f*** / Ninety pills daily of Nurofen Plus.
“I know that’s extreme and I should be dead right / But I was so f***ed up my tolerance was that high.
“That’s the thing with a codeine addiction / It’s over the counter so you don’t need prescriptions.
“That’s three packets in a day / I didn’t get high but I would have them anyway / Because if I didn’t take em then I’d be hitting withdrawals / And guess what? All of this was mid-tour.”
The rapper’s abuse of prescription drugs, a habit that is increasingly common in Australia, left him unable to play and plagued by dark thoughts. Eventually, he recounts how he “smashed four packets” because he felt like a zombie. He collapsed from an overdose and was found convulsing on the floor by his manager. The rest of the tour was cancelled.
His confession may shock some Australians, but it has resonated with many who have seen the post on Facebook.
“I feel your pain bro hard!!” wrote Nathan Rae. “I’ve been clean for 4 months now after 16 years on the s***.”
Jarrod Martin said the song had struck a chord with him too. “Everyday I feel the devil raging inside of me, and still after 6.5 years sober I’m not 100% content, but I keep pushing forwards because I know I have more to offer in this world,” he wrote. “You have a friend in me 360.”
Other viewers said they broke down in tears as they watched the video, while Kirsty Styles, who was meant to be at one of the cancelled shows, wrote: “I am so proud of you because when you came back to the tour it was amazing! Good on you!”
In the video, 360 admits his worst mistake was not telling anyone. “I’m a f***ing junkie how am I going on a tour?” he asks.
He says he’s making the video in the hope it will help others, crediting his family as giving him a reason to get clean and start rebuilding his life.
In June 2014, 360 told News Corp he had “almost had to hit rock bottom” before he stopped partying so hard. “There were a lot of demons in my head,” he said.
The rapper, real name Matt Colwell, said saying no to substances had been a struggle and that plenty of people wanted to see him fail. “When I got sober some people would still encourage you to get high. That’s the lowest thing you can do. You realise who’s around you for the right reasons.”
He has previously come in for some harsh online abuse from music fans who attacked him as a “sellout” or a “pop star.” His latest video may change many listeners’ minds.
I hope that this is a lesson for so many people not to fall into this pit of darkness, because once you in it is so hard to get out…..